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One of the most perverse aspects of being human is how hard we fight against our own best interests.
Our brains are prone to a host of psychological effects and fallacies that convince us that we damn good and well that I needed to break up with my girlfriend – for years longer than I should have.
Sometimes when a breakup gets unbearable, it seems like a good idea to do anything you can to get over the heartache.
Unfortunately, chances are good that you'll then have to go through it all over again.
Like many nerdy people, my hobbies don’t bring me in to social circles which contain a lot of women, so, dating has always been an uphill battle.
Though it's worth it to wait until you're 100 percent sure, you actually to end the relationship—breaking up is easier than begging for someone back, after all—you should rip the Band-Aid off as soon as you've made the decision, says Schafler.
When I finally met someone (online) who seemed to really like and appreciate me, it completely blew my mind, and I felt on top of the world.
So, we chat for ages, find lots of similar interests, have all kinds of interesting conversations, things seem to be going great behind the sanitizing curtain of the internet. She’s pretty overweight, but, hell, I could lose a few pounds too. Except when we meet in person, I find out I gets in to everything and makes me nauseous.
And while becoming friends with your ex immediately can veer into tricky territory, remaining civil could preserve the possibility of a friendship—or at least continued contact with your mutual friends—once things cool down.
"Granted, some bridges definitely need to be burned, but taking things slow with regard to dismantling your relationship—and the social media evidence of that relationship—can save both people a lot of drama," says Schafler.6. There are exceptions to this rule, but most couples that get back together after breaking up don't stay together—and people tend to be less happy in their relationships the second time around.